Sunday Smatterings
/Happy Sunday, friends! Buckle up, I’m getting deep today.
“How often do you say no to the things that would interfere with your goals?”
After this fascinating prompt popped up in my journaling app, I’ve been thinking a lot this week about life dreams. How to create them, how to make them come true. And even more, how they change over time. It’s a very intimate thought process, obviously. It takes great introspection to discover what you really want from this life, and great will and character to put in motion the steps to achieve it. Trust me, it’s much, much easier to have a dream that you want to achieve “someday” and then feel dissatisfied and disenfranchised that you haven’t met that goal. But let’s be honest, why haven’t you met the goal, however big or small? Is it because you don’t want it that badly? Or you don’t want to do the work to get there? Do you sabotage yourself? Or has your resistance become a physical, tangible thing?
Or are you saying yes to all the wrong things?
I did a keynote last week and one of the questions I fielded was one I get almost any time I speak.
I have a novel in me, but how do I make the time to write it?
I answered as I always do. If you want it badly enough, you will make the time. I know too many great authors who get up an hour before their family to throw down words before getting the kids to school and themselves off to work, or stay up late in order to make progress on their books, to indulge someone saying they don’t have time. If you want to fulfill your dreams, you will make the time. Full stop.
I’m afraid that after all these years of making time to be a writer, I grow weary of this question. It seems so logical to me that if you want something, you go get it. I’m very spoiled that way, I know. I was not overtly dissuaded from my passions and dreams (outside of my professor, but that’s irrelevant). My family didn’t subvert me. My husband supports me. I have an iron will—or perhaps we should be gentler and call it sheer stubbornness—that I will eventually achieve what I dream. (I also do a LOT of wishing upon stars, which I highly recommend. The universe wants to give you what you seek, after all.)
But here’s the rub. Just because YOU have a goal in mind doesn’t mean you alone can make it happen. You have to get other people on the bandwagon, too. I think that might be where many dreams are derailed. Nasty comments, snide remarks, implied and outright rejections, that person who always pops up to distract you from your goals at just the wrong time, perfectly curated social media feeds, all parade through our worlds every day. It’s finding a way to turn these annoyances off, finding a way to make your own interior voice stronger and more loving than any critic, that gives you the tools necessary to achieve your dreams.
I’m not one for giving homework, but today, I’d like to challenge you. Grab a piece of paper and a pen. Be honest. Be open. No one’s going to see this but you.
Write down your biggest dream. Then write down five concrete steps that will get you there. When you’re finished with that, write the five impediments to your goals.
Once you have them in front of you, in print, not floating around in your pretty brain, it will help you see exactly what you need to do to take that next step toward your goals.
I sign off my emails to writer friends—Write hard! So today, along with ever onward, allow me to say—Dream big. You’ve got this.
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That’s it from me. Dream big, start small, and love hard. I’ll see you next Sunday!
Peace and hugs,
J.T.