Welcome to my annual review!
This isnāt just the end of a year, it is the end of a decade. I thought this would feel incredibly momentous, and it does, in many ways. But itās also business as usual, which, if Iām being honest, is the best line I can possibly type. I have one simple goal for my career -- and thatās to stay in the game. And I stayed in the game this year.
LOOKING BACK ON 2019 - THE YEAR OF JOY
After all the changes of 2018, Iām so looking forward to 2019. I go forth into the new year with joy in my heart, not the pervasive dread of āhow am I going to do it all?ā I usually feel at this time of year. Iām not worrying as much about what Iām going to accomplish, instead Iām focused on being present, enjoying my work, my family and friends, and my life. Being happy. Contentment and creativity are the primary goals. A big birthday is looming, and I plan to enjoy every minute of the transition into another decade, approaching this new stage of my life with gratitude instead of fear.
HOW DID I DO?
Well, not too bad, actually. Surgery meant I had to take a lot of time off. While that hurt my word counts and stressed me out tremendously business-wise, it certainly meant I was more present. Almost too present. But in general, I think I achieved the being happy part. I certainly backed off on a lot of things that I normally want to do/have done in years past, and Iām looking forward to continuing that trend in 2020. Maybe itās the whole mellowing with age thing, or a certain frustration with things out of my control, but Iāve gotten much better at stepping away from situations that drive me bonkers and allowed myself the grace to not do something if it doesnāt serve me or my current situation. Wine Vixen and Two Tales are both perfect examples. Do I want to work on them? Yes, absolutely. Do I have the time? Nope. Am I beating myself up over it? Also, nope. THAT is a big shift in priorities and balance for me, so yeah, Iād say I achieved the goal.
SO WHAT WENT RIGHT, AND WHAT WENT WRONG?
If you take out the physical calamities, 2019 was a very good year. Most importantly, I laid all the groundwork for the next few years of my writing career with a new deal with my longtime publisher and editor. I finished a novel (GOOD GIRLS LIE) and promptly started a new one (HER DARK LIES). I played with the secret project some, but itās not getting the traction Iād hoped for, so itās been temporarily shelved. Catherine and I wrapped the Brit in the FBI series, and I look back on the experience with great fondness and appreciation.
I found a steady, comfortable non-fiction writing rhythm. I have to say, I think non-fiction saved me this year. It kept me writing. The two knee surgeries, the first to repair a torn meniscus, the second (with a different doctor) to repair the first botched surgery, really messed things up. I had no choiceāafter 10 weeks on crutches and no improvement in pain, mobility, swelling, and general healing, I couldnāt handle it anymore. Unfortunately, the double rounds of anesthesia and months of pain and drama really hurt my creativity. Oh, I wrote. I wrote a lot. But I felt like much of my fiction in the second half of the year lacked the spark I wanted. The work wasnāt satisfying my creative spirit. The story was there, and trust me, itās a GREAT story. But I couldnāt get it out of my head and onto the page properly. The characters werenāt breathing. I kept sliding off into tangents, and they werenāt good tangents. I couldnāt find the right voice. This is a freaky experience, let me tell you. Iām still struggling with it, too, though it is getting better. My concentration has improved tremendously, and the words on the page are beginning to work. I feel like I know my characters and have found the threads that will pull me through.
What all that means is, I started over. Tossed what I had and started over. Thatās what went wrong in 2019. Itās kind of a biggie.
Itās been a humbling, and to be honest, frightening, experience, to not be in control of the uncontrollable, namely, the spark that is my art. So I turned to non-fiction, a safe place for me to work through these anxieties and problems.
In better news, I exercised my passport this year, with travel to Italy, Canada, and Scotland. I debuted GOOD GIRLS LIE at the Toronto International Film Festival, and it was a blast. We had two great trips to New York, (I still canāt believe I did Thrillerfest on crutches), I got to go to Southern Voices, and we had a few side trips to the Southern and Western Commands (Florida and Colorado). I also went on a perfectly lovely writerās retreat in North Carolina, where I learned so much (hello, 40 Scenes).
I fell in love with the memoir, and read several that truly changed my life. I became a better cook. I did NaNoWriMo and wrote 36,000 words (most of which were thrown out, but still.) I was a good friend. I watched a ton of MasterClasses (yāall, Malcolm Gladwell is brilliant) and canāt wait to watch more. That is well worth the effort, I promise you. I blogged regularly, made pithy comments on Twitter, posted pretty pictures on Instagram, and grew the Literati. I moved newsletter service providers seamlessly and to great effectāmy open rates skyrocketed. I mastered Outlook, moved to a 365 email account, and in general, streamlined my processes all around.
And I spent more time with the people I love. And that is the most important part of my accomplishments this past year.
NITTY GRITTY: AKA NERDOLOGY
2019 Word Total: 756,247
Fiction Total: 233,555
Non-Fiction Total: 122,692
Email: 400,000
Fiction Percentage: 31%
Books Read: 88
2018 Fiction Total: 200,430 (Fiction 24%)
2017 Fiction Total: 274,410 (Fiction 30%)
2016 Fiction Total: 217,228 (Fiction 25%)
2015 Fiction Total: 203,749 (Fiction 28%)
2014 Fiction Total: 291,114 (Fiction 36%)
2013 Fiction Total: 270,000 (Fiction 34%)
2012 Fiction Total: 265,000 (Fiction 34%)
2011 Fiction Total: 252,300 (Fiction 35%)
2010 Fiction Total: 198,383 (Fiction 32%)
2009 Fiction Total: 135,738 (Fiction 27%)
My non-fiction total dropped magnificently this year, all due to a smaller than usual email number. This stands to reasonāmy assistant and I use a different app for our primary communication, so I wasnāt emailing as much. A lot of our work together is verbal, and thereās no way of knowing how many words I spoke. Iāll take the decrease anyway. Always good to see the fiction number rise and the non-fiction drop. Though I will say thisāI still wish there was a way to capture how many words I delete as I go. I only count finished words in my daily counts. Thereās no telling how much I actually write and throw way, delete, reword, etcetera.
Original Books Published:
GOOD GIRLS LIE
THE LAST SECOND (Brit in the FBI #6)
Reprint/Repackage:
LIE TO ME (mmpb)
NO ONE KNOWS (mmpb)
THE SIXTH DAY (mmpb)
THE LAST SECOND (trade)
A THOUSAND DOORS (trade and hardcover)
Conferences/Festivals/Bookstores:
Southern Voices, Thrillerfest, Southern Festival of Books, Toronto International Film Festival, In Conversations at Parnassus with David Bell and Lisa Unger
Major Projects Worked On:
GOOD GIRLS LIE, SECRET PROJECT, HER DARK LIES
A WORD ON WORDS Shows Taped: 6
Books read: 88
More Awesome Stuff:
PW Starred Review: GOOD GIRLS LIE
Library Reads December Pick: GOOD GIRLS LIE
NYT List: THE LAST SECOND
USA Today List: THE LAST SECOND
GOOD GIRLS LIE made several major best of 2019 lists, including Strand Magazine and Real Book Spy
A Brief Look Back on the Decade:
19 books published, 13 short stories published, 2 anthologies edited. 2.4 million fiction words written, 1.4 million of non-fiction. It was a good decade. Can't wait to see what the 20s bring!
THE YEAR AHEAD - 2020, THE YEAR OF ENOUGH
This year, Iām working a mindful theme as well, using the word Enough. Iām a terrible perfectionist, and I can lose time trying to fix things that donāt necessarily need to be fixed. I battle with myself over little details that most people would never notice. Granted, I do have OCD, so its hard for me to shut off these little buggy things like an extra space between an emoji and the next letter. I mean, thatās ridiculous, and NO ONE CARES! Iām going to work on desensitizing myself so I can focus on the things that matter, instead of the things that donāt.
But itās more than that. So much more. Enough is a tree with a hundred branches for me. Itās getting enough sleep. Itās getting enough exercise, eating whole, fresh foods. Making sure I have enough water throughout the day. Itās breathing enough. Itās recognizing when I have enough consumer goods, enough books to read, enough in my closet and pantry. Itās recognizing when Iāve been online too long, Itās being at peace with the little things. Itās standing up for what I believe in. Itās pushing back when I feel threatened or used. Enough is all about intentionality for me. Mindfulness. Boundaries.
And itās about finding beauty and peace, doing away with not having enough time to do some of the little things that make me happy. Itās recognizing when my creativity has run out for the day and going for a walk then reading a book. Itās putting down my laptop and snuggling the cats, or putting down my iPad and chatting with my husband instead. Itās about forging a new path.
Enough. Enough.
It should be an interesting year. Itās probably my hardest challenge to date.
2020 Book Releases:
HER DARK LIES (December 2020)
GOOD GIRLS LIE mmpb (August 2020)
Plans for the Year:
I have set my normal goals of 200,000 words of fiction and 80 books read. I also did something Iāve not done before--I laid out my plans for each month, so I know the top-line projects and goals that I need to be thinking about. For example, January will be dominated by finishing HER DARK LIES and book tour for GOOD GIRLS LIE. Iāve tried four or five different planning methods in the past, but thisājust the top-line of what the project is, what travel or major event is happening, and what I want to accomplishāitās simple, straightforward, and letās me focus on what matters. (Again... Enough.)
I want to finish HER DARK LIES and move on to the next story. I already know what itās going to be, at least in theory. Itās a story I am acutely able to tell, so Iām excited to get moving on it. And I will outline it using the new app I found, StoryPlanner, that gives me a nice structure and overview. The biggest thing I learned in 2019 was this: Donāt start writing the book until you have 40 scenes. Because book math: 40 scenes which, fleshed out to 2000 words per scene, equals 80,000 words. This was a life changing formula for me when I had to toss out the plot for HER DARK LIES and start over, so Iām anxious to see how it works for a brand new concept.
Iād like to get a couple of short stories in place, too, but the novels are paramount. Standalones take longer, take more planning, more thought, more mental energy for me, so I wonāt be fussed if I donāt.
Iād like to keep Sunday Smatterings going, which is my journal. I love looking back on where my head was that week, and what stories and essays were turning my crank. I have several planned retreats this year, and Iām taking a real, unplugged vacation, regardless of whether it fits into the schedule or not. Iāll of course be honoring my Lenten social media sabbaticalāit might even start a little early this year. And itās our 25th wedding anniversary, so there will be something special, and just for us.
Another goal is to just stop worrying so damn much about everything, and to do that, Iām being better to myself, taking time for myself. Iām committed to living more for me and my people. I often sacrifice my own happiness and well-being to satisfy othersā expectations, and Iām not doing that anymore. This isnāt a resolution but a lifestyle change. So if you donāt see me around as much, know that Iām practicing my healthy boundaries. You can always come to the blog and leave a comment if you miss me š
Hereās to a brilliant, lovely, productive, and peaceful 2020!
THE DEETS
