2020 Annual Review

Oh, 2020. What a long, strange trip you’ve been. The space-time continuum has been out of whack. It feels like I just sat down to write my 2019 year-end review, and also feels like a year since Christmas last week. Fridays are Mondays, weeks are minutes, days are years. But through it all, through pandemic and isolation and quarantines and fear, there has been routine and ritual, habits created and broken. It was a weird, long, difficult year, but a good one, for all that. My heart breaks for those of you who’ve been hurting, who’ve been alone, who’ve been isolated, who’ve been ill, who’ve lost people. I’ve been with you in spirit, and I hope you’ve felt that small presence beside you.

LOOKING BACK ON 2020, THE YEAR OF ENOUGH

This year, I’m working a mindful theme as well, using the word Enough. I’m a terrible perfectionist, and I can lose time trying to fix things that don’t necessarily need to be fixed. I battle with myself over little details that most people would never notice. Granted, I do have OCD, so its hard for me to shut off these little buggy things like an extra space between an emoji and the next letter. I mean, that’s ridiculous, and NO ONE CARES! I’m going to work on desensitizing myself so I can focus on the things that matter, instead of the things that don’t.

But it’s more than that. So much more. Enough is a tree with a hundred branches for me. It’s getting enough sleep. It’s getting enough exercise, eating whole, fresh foods. Making sure I have enough water throughout the day. It’s breathing enough. It’s recognizing when I have enough consumer goods, enough books to read, enough in my closet and pantry. It’s recognizing when I’ve been online too long, It’s being at peace with the little things. It’s standing up for what I believe in. It’s pushing back when I feel threatened or used. Enough is all about intentionality for me. Mindfulness. Boundaries.

And it’s about finding beauty and peace, doing away with not having enough time to do some of the little things that make me happy. It’s recognizing when my creativity has run out for the day and going for a walk then reading a book. It’s putting down my laptop and snuggling the cats, or putting down my iPad and chatting with my husband instead. It’s about forging a new path.

Enough. Enough.

It should be an interesting year. It’s probably my hardest challenge to date.

SO HOW DID I DO?

Irony, thy name is annual word themes. Aren’t we all feeling like enough is enough after 2020? 

I went into the year with a bit of a chip on my shoulder. I knew I needed to make some major life changes, and I was determined to conquer these issues. Reader, I did. A few decisions were gut-wrenchingly awful, a few were easy. The first quarter of the year was a stressful mess, magnified by professional changes and the looming pandemic and a book that didn’t want to cooperate. By the second quarter, though, the world was locked down, the issues resolved, and the book...well, it STILL wasn’t working, but one thing at a time. 

Being locked down gave me a new perspective on what mattered most to me. It definitely affected the consumer purchases and little indulgences that previously permeated my life. Not having to worry about things like getting my nails done or having regular haircuts helped me accept all the weird idiosyncratic things about my natural state that I sought to enhance for so many years. So big win there. 

WHAT WENT RIGHT, AND WHAT WENT WRONG?

A lot went right this year. I wrote 1.5 pandemic books, and 2.5 short stories. I toured GOOD GIRLS LIE in a whirlwind week of travel that was one of the most rewarding tours of my career. I moved to the wonderful Curtis Brown literary agency after signing with the delightful Laura Blake Peterson, and revamped my physical being by hitting my move goal 215 days in a row (so far). We moved house, put in a gym, learned how best to isolate without going mad, and found the best masks. I did not gain the COVID-19. All go into the positive column.

Finishing any kind of creative work during a pandemic deserves gold stars, and I award one to myself for rewriting and finishing HER DARK LIES and getting a third of the way into a new story. A WORD ON WORDS has continued into its sixth season, and we’re now shooting from home until we’re cleared for on-location work again. We added full-length interview transcripts, which truly enhances the experience. The GOOD GIRLS LIE tour was incredible, and I was able to take a long weekend in DC with Randy just before the shut down happened. And of course, let’s not discount the fact that we’re both healthy and blessed to be able to work from home. Lockdowns were made for introverts. The universality of this one has restored my faith in humanity. We’re getting through this together. It’s not easy. It’s not fun. But we’re doing it. 

I have to be honest — I had some *spectacular* fails, too. Reading has, sadly, been a misery. Very few books held my attention for long. I have a list of DNFs that I know in another moment in time would have brought me great joy. I stuck with audiobooks, and some great podcasts, and streamed a LOT of great TV. That led me to discover the very cool audio subtitle feature on Netflix. I watched two seasons of The Crown with the audio subtitles on which became its own masterclass in storytelling.

I struggled mightily with my work in the first half of the year. I don’t think I’m unique in this. The last vestiges of surgery brain coupled with COVID destroyed my focus. I abandoned two short stories that just weren’t coming together and ended up having to drop the majority of the manuscript in favor of a totally new storyline, which necessitated several rewrites. These issues weren’t fun, and I’ve been very relieved to feel like I’ve gotten my mojo back in the past few months.

Ironically, once we locked down in late March, things did get better. I spent almost all of January and February watching the looming crisis and trying to get people to take it seriously. The knowledge that we were all onboard social distancing let me relax and settle. 

We spent much of the summer housesitting, just for a change of scenery, and discovered how loud our home in Nashville was. We decided to remedy this in the Fall by looking for a new place, but were surprised when a house came on the market in the neighborhood we wanted to move into only a few days later. It stayed on the market long enough for us to return to Nashville and put in an offer, which miracle of miracles, was accepted. (Nothing stays on the market for more than a few hours in Nashville right now, we’re that hot.) It needed a lot of work, some structural, some design preferences, and the moment I finished the book, I took two months off so we could tackle the renovation, sell our house, and move. Now that the work is behind us, we love it. It is quiet and calm, the cats have lots of places to run and snuggle, and Randy and I have our own offices that are on separate floors. Such blessings, I know. I am beyond grateful.

Let me circle back for a moment. Yes, you read that right. I took two months off.

Friends, I needed the break. I’d needed one for a while. I was hoping to recharge during my annual Lenten sabbatical, but because of COVID, I wasn’t able to unplug at all. Taking time off social media is one thing; taking time off writing is another. But I didn’t have a choice. I’d completely blown through my deadline, my psyche was bruised, my well drought-empty. It was either step away or flame out, and I used the move as the perfect excuse to do a massive reset.

It was weird, not writing every day. Instead, I did mental work on the next book, let characters come to me as they pleased, introducing themselves and letting bits of their lives slip into conversations like new friends at a fun, extended cocktail party. I painted and thought. I directed and planned. I packed and plotted. But I didn’t worry about sitting down and pushing out the words that would bring this story to life. Instead, I jotted down scenes as I went, and when I was ready to work again, there was almost of full book’s worth of scenes to tackle. I’m seeing how this method (40 Scenes) might become part of my practice instead of a one-off situation. It has made the writing go very smoothly.

2020 has been difficult, no doubt. Nashville in particular has suffered greatly, from tornadoes and bombings and Derechos and curfews and lockdowns. I am filled with gratitude and wonder that I’ve been able to accomplish as much as I have, considering.

All in all, Enough was the perfect theme for the year. I feel like I’ve made real, actionable changes to my person, my work life, my home life, my career. I may not have reached or exceeded my normal goals, but I found myself again, and that’s worth more than any manuscript. 

NITTY GRITTY: AKA NERDOLOGY

2020 Word Total: 637,500

Fiction Total: 182,788
Non-Fiction Total: 84,712
Email: 370,000
Fiction Percentage: 46%
Books Read: 65

2019 Fiction Total: 233,555 (Fiction 31%)
2018 Fiction Total: 200,430 (Fiction 24%)
2017 Fiction Total: 274,410 (Fiction 30%)
2016 Fiction Total: 217,228 (Fiction 25%)
2015 Fiction Total: 203,749 (Fiction 28%)
2014 Fiction Total: 291,114 (Fiction 36%)
2013 Fiction Total: 270,000 (Fiction 34%)
2012 Fiction Total: 265,000 (Fiction 34%)
2011 Fiction Total: 252,300 (Fiction 35%)
2010 Fiction Total: 198,383 (Fiction 32%)
2009 Fiction Total: 135,738 (Fiction 27%)

Original Books Published:

Technically none, though GOOD GIRLS LIE released December 30, 2019, so all touring was done in 2020

Reprint/Repackage:

GOOD GIRLS LIE (mmpb)
THE LAST SECOND (mmpb )

Conferences/Festivals/Bookstores:

GOOD GIRLS LIE Tour 
PLA
Virtual Craftfest
Thrillerfest Virtual Winter Thrills
Innumerable Zooms, Podcasts, and Online Get-Togethers

Major Projects Worked On:

HER DARK LIES; Novel #25; LOUCHE 49; SECRET PROJECT #1; SECRET PROJECT #2; ALL FALL DOWN (Sam #5); untitled short stories.

A WORD ON WORDS: 

Renewed for a sixth season
Shows Taped: 8

Projects Optioned: 1

Books read: 65

More Awesome Stuff:

PW Starred Review for HER DARK LIES
Moved to Curtis Brown
Incredible cover and early reception for HER DARK LIES

THE YEAR AHEAD - 2021, THE YEAR OF CONTENT

It’s been a long time coming, but the level of contentment I feel in both my life and my career is off the charts. The work I’ve done over the past several years to revamp my world has paid off. Now it’s time to focus on new work, letting the words flow instead of trying to force them, walking away when the work is done. My approach to the Year of Content is four-fold: Reading for enjoyment, exercising for wellness, living with humility, and creating with intention, as the world slowly returns to its normal axis. 

Welcome to my homonymous year! I held off on deciding my word for 2021, decided I’d see what struck me on New Year’s Eve. I’d been playing around with Peace, but it didn’t fit, not in these still uncertain times. And in truth, I’m far from peaceful. Waiting for the ball to drop with my husband and Champagne and the kittens stretched out by a cozy fire in my new house, a word came to me unbidden—CONTENT. I am content. Settled. Happy. Clear-headed, and clear-eyed. 

I’d planned to predominantly use “content” as an adjective, but it’s also going to be the year of content. Generating content is not only my job, but my prime objective, and my 2021 plans include a lot of writing. The authors I admire the most are the ones who are crushing it with original, innovative content. Without a lot of the distractions that have dominated my thoughts and soaked up my creative time the past few years, I feel like I will be able to create more and do it more easily. Fingers crossed!

2021 Book Releases (as of now):

HER DARK LIES (March 9, 2021)

2021 Plans:

I have several projects in the works that I can’t talk about yet, including the topic and title of my new standalone. I have to finish a short story by the end of January, and want to get a (rough) draft of the novel done before HER DARK LIES releases March 9. I’ve been having major issues with Facebook, so I want to explore ways to maintain the connections with my readers there while converting people to my newsletter. The Literati is growing, as is Instagram, and I’ve reworked my Twitter to be a (mostly) enjoyable experience instead of a frustrating one. I have some Two Tales Press work to do, and I want to get The Wine Vixen up and running again, with a recipe section of my archives. I’ll need to explore a new book idea mid-year, and of course, the elusive finale to the Sam and Taylor series looms. 

But all of this takes a backseat to the primary content generation of standalone suspense novels. New words, new ideas, new stories and worlds. Being content will allow me to generate content. In that aspect, I predict it’s going to be a great year.

Thanks for joining me on this journey, as always!

THE DEETS

For the past several years, I’ve been doing annual reviews of my life and work, based on the format from Chris Guillebeau’s wonderful Annual Review on his blog, The Art of Non-Conformity. Chris’s system is exceptionally detailed, more so than I really need, but the gist is there. It’s a great system for those of us who are self-employed and want to do an assessment of our work for the year. Here’s the link to the actual post. Go on over there and take a read. I’ll wait. 

And if you're interested, here are the links to my previous annual reviews for 2009 (Too Damn Much), 2010 (Evolution), 2011 (Depth), 2012 (Simplicity), 2013 (Pencil), 2014 (Making Do), 2015 (No), 2016, (Lent), 2017 (Flow), 2018 (Joy) and 2019 (Enough).

2019 Annual Review

Welcome to my annual review!

This isn’t just the end of a year, it is the end of a decade. I thought this would feel incredibly momentous, and it does, in many ways. But it’s also business as usual, which, if I’m being honest, is the best line I can possibly type. I have one simple goal for my career -- and that’s to stay in the game. And I stayed in the game this year.  

LOOKING BACK ON 2019 - THE YEAR OF JOY

After all the changes of 2018, I’m so looking forward to 2019. I go forth into the new year with joy in my heart, not the pervasive dread of “how am I going to do it all?” I usually feel at this time of year. I’m not worrying as much about what I’m going to accomplish, instead I’m focused on being present, enjoying my work, my family and friends, and my life. Being happy. Contentment and creativity are the primary goals. A big birthday is looming, and I plan to enjoy every minute of the transition into another decade, approaching this new stage of my life with gratitude instead of fear.

HOW DID I DO?

Well, not too bad, actually. Surgery meant I had to take a lot of time off. While that hurt my word counts and stressed me out tremendously business-wise, it certainly meant I was more present. Almost too present. But in general, I think I achieved the being happy part. I certainly backed off on a lot of things that I normally want to do/have done in years past, and I’m looking forward to continuing that trend in 2020.  Maybe it’s the whole mellowing with age thing, or a certain frustration with things out of my control, but I’ve gotten much better at stepping away from situations that drive me bonkers and allowed myself the grace to not do something if it doesn’t serve me or my current situation. Wine Vixen and Two Tales are both perfect examples. Do I want to work on them? Yes, absolutely. Do I have the time? Nope. Am I beating myself up over it? Also, nope. THAT is a big shift in priorities and balance for me, so yeah, I’d say I achieved the goal.  

SO WHAT WENT RIGHT, AND WHAT WENT WRONG?

If you take out the physical calamities, 2019 was a very good year. Most importantly, I laid all the groundwork for the next few years of my writing career with a new deal with my longtime publisher and editor.  I finished a novel (GOOD GIRLS LIE) and promptly started a new one (HER DARK LIES). I played with the secret project some, but it’s not getting the traction I’d hoped for, so it’s been temporarily shelved. Catherine and I wrapped the Brit in the FBI series, and I look back on the experience with great fondness and appreciation. 

I found a steady, comfortable non-fiction writing rhythm. I have to say, I think non-fiction saved me this year. It kept me writing. The two knee surgeries, the first to repair a torn meniscus, the second (with a different doctor) to repair the first botched surgery, really messed things up. I had no choice—after 10 weeks on crutches and no improvement in pain, mobility, swelling, and general healing, I couldn’t handle it anymore. Unfortunately, the double rounds of anesthesia and months of pain and drama really hurt my creativity. Oh, I wrote. I wrote a lot. But I felt like much of my fiction in the second half of the year lacked the spark I wanted. The work wasn’t satisfying my creative spirit. The story was there, and trust me, it’s a GREAT story. But I couldn’t get it out of my head and onto the page properly. The characters weren’t breathing. I kept sliding off into tangents, and they weren’t good tangents. I couldn’t find the right voice. This is a freaky experience, let me tell you. I’m still struggling with it, too, though it is getting better. My concentration has improved tremendously, and the words on the page are beginning to work. I feel like I know my characters and have found the threads that will pull me through. 

What all that means is, I started over. Tossed what I had and started over. That’s what went wrong in 2019. It’s kind of a biggie.

It’s been a humbling, and to be honest, frightening, experience, to not be in control of the uncontrollable, namely, the spark that is my art. So I turned to non-fiction, a safe place for me to work through these anxieties and problems. 

In better news, I exercised my passport this year, with travel to Italy, Canada, and Scotland. I debuted GOOD GIRLS LIE at the Toronto International Film Festival, and it was a blast. We had two great trips to New York, (I still can’t believe I did Thrillerfest on crutches), I got to go to Southern Voices, and we had a few side trips to the Southern and Western Commands (Florida and Colorado). I also went on a perfectly lovely writer’s retreat in North Carolina, where I learned so much (hello, 40 Scenes). 

I fell in love with the memoir, and read several that truly changed my life. I became a better cook. I did NaNoWriMo and wrote 36,000 words (most of which were thrown out, but still.) I was a good friend. I watched a ton of MasterClasses (y’all, Malcolm Gladwell is brilliant) and can’t wait to watch more. That is well worth the effort, I promise you. I blogged regularly, made pithy comments on Twitter, posted pretty pictures on Instagram, and grew the Literati. I moved newsletter service providers seamlessly and to great effect—my open rates skyrocketed. I mastered Outlook, moved to a 365 email account, and in general, streamlined my processes all around. 

And I spent more time with the people I love. And that is the most important part of my accomplishments this past year.  

NITTY GRITTY: AKA NERDOLOGY

2019 Word Total: 756,247
Fiction Total: 233,555
Non-Fiction Total: 122,692
Email: 400,000
Fiction Percentage: 31%
Books Read: 88

2018 Fiction Total: 200,430 (Fiction 24%)
2017 Fiction Total: 274,410 (Fiction 30%)
2016 Fiction Total: 217,228 (Fiction 25%)
2015 Fiction Total: 203,749 (Fiction 28%)
2014 Fiction Total: 291,114 (Fiction 36%)
2013 Fiction Total: 270,000 (Fiction 34%)
2012 Fiction Total: 265,000 (Fiction 34%)
2011 Fiction Total: 252,300 (Fiction 35%)
2010 Fiction Total: 198,383 (Fiction 32%)
2009 Fiction Total: 135,738 (Fiction 27%)

My non-fiction total dropped magnificently this year, all due to a smaller than usual email number. This stands to reason—my assistant and I use a different app for our primary communication, so I wasn’t emailing as much. A lot of our work together is verbal, and there’s no way of knowing how many words I spoke. I’ll take the decrease anyway. Always good to see the fiction number rise and the non-fiction drop. Though I will say this—I still wish there was a way to capture how many words I delete as I go. I only count finished words in my daily counts. There’s no telling how much I actually write and throw way, delete, reword, etcetera. 

Original Books Published: 
GOOD GIRLS LIE
THE LAST SECOND (Brit in the FBI #6)

Reprint/Repackage: 
LIE TO ME (mmpb)
NO ONE KNOWS (mmpb)
THE SIXTH DAY (mmpb)
THE LAST SECOND (trade)
A THOUSAND DOORS (trade and hardcover)

Conferences/Festivals/Bookstores:  
Southern Voices, Thrillerfest, Southern Festival of Books, Toronto International Film Festival, In Conversations at Parnassus with David Bell and Lisa Unger

Major Projects Worked On: 
GOOD GIRLS LIE, SECRET PROJECT, HER DARK LIES

A WORD ON WORDS Shows Taped: 6

Books read: 88

More Awesome Stuff:
PW Starred Review: GOOD GIRLS LIE
Library Reads December Pick: GOOD GIRLS LIE
NYT List: THE LAST SECOND
USA Today List: THE LAST SECOND
GOOD GIRLS LIE made several major best of 2019 lists, including Strand Magazine and Real Book Spy

A Brief Look Back on the Decade:

19 books published, 13 short stories published, 2 anthologies edited. 2.4 million fiction words written, 1.4 million of non-fiction. It was a good decade. Can't wait to see what the 20s bring!

THE YEAR AHEAD - 2020, THE YEAR OF ENOUGH

This year, I’m working a mindful theme as well, using the word Enough. I’m a terrible perfectionist, and I can lose time trying to fix things that don’t necessarily need to be fixed. I battle with myself over little details that most people would never notice. Granted, I do have OCD, so its hard for me to shut off these little buggy things like an extra space between an emoji and the next letter. I mean, that’s ridiculous, and NO ONE CARES! I’m going to work on desensitizing myself so I can focus on the things that matter, instead of the things that don’t. 

But it’s more than that. So much more. Enough is a tree with a hundred branches for me. It’s getting enough sleep. It’s getting enough exercise, eating whole, fresh foods. Making sure I have enough water throughout the day. It’s breathing enough. It’s recognizing when I have enough consumer goods, enough books to read, enough in my closet and pantry. It’s recognizing when I’ve been online too long, It’s being at peace with the little things. It’s standing up for what I believe in. It’s pushing back when I feel threatened or used. Enough is all about intentionality for me. Mindfulness. Boundaries. 

And it’s about finding beauty and peace, doing away with not having enough time to do some of the little things that make me happy. It’s recognizing when my creativity has run out for the day and going for a walk then reading a book. It’s putting down my laptop and snuggling the cats, or putting down my iPad and chatting with my husband instead. It’s about forging a new path. 

Enough. Enough. 

It should be an interesting year. It’s probably my hardest challenge to date.

2020 Book Releases:
HER DARK LIES (December 2020)
GOOD GIRLS LIE mmpb (August 2020)

Plans for the Year:
I have set my normal goals of 200,000 words of fiction and 80 books read. I also did something I’ve not done before--I laid out my plans for each month, so I know the top-line projects and goals that I need to be thinking about. For example, January will be dominated by finishing HER DARK LIES and book tour for GOOD GIRLS LIE. I’ve tried four or five different planning methods in the past, but this—just the top-line of what the project is, what travel or major event is happening, and what I want to accomplish—it’s simple, straightforward, and let’s me focus on what matters. (Again... Enough.)

I want to finish HER DARK LIES and move on to the next story. I already know what it’s going to be, at least in theory. It’s a story I am acutely able to tell, so I’m excited to get moving on it. And I will outline it using the new app I found, StoryPlanner, that gives me a nice structure and overview. The biggest thing I learned in 2019 was this: Don’t start writing the book until you have 40 scenes. Because book math: 40 scenes which, fleshed out to 2000 words per scene, equals 80,000 words. This was a life changing formula for me when I had to toss out the plot for HER DARK LIES and start over, so I’m anxious to see how it works for a brand new concept. 

I’d like to get a couple of short stories in place, too, but the novels are paramount. Standalones take longer, take more planning, more thought, more mental energy for me, so I won’t be fussed if I don’t.

I’d like to keep Sunday Smatterings going, which is my journal. I love looking back on where my head was that week, and what stories and essays were turning my crank. I have several planned retreats this year, and I’m taking a real, unplugged vacation, regardless of whether it fits into the schedule or not. I’ll of course be honoring my Lenten social media sabbatical—it might even start a little early this year. And it’s our 25th wedding anniversary, so there will be something special, and just for us. 

Another goal is to just stop worrying so damn much about everything, and to do that, I’m being better to myself, taking time for myself. I’m committed to living more for me and my people. I often sacrifice my own happiness and well-being to satisfy others’ expectations, and I’m not doing that anymore. This isn’t a resolution but a lifestyle change. So if you don’t see me around as much, know that I’m practicing my healthy boundaries. You can always come to the blog and leave a comment if you miss me 😊

Here’s to a brilliant, lovely, productive, and peaceful 2020!

THE DEETS

For the past several years, I’ve been doing annual reviews of my life and work, based on the format from Chris Guillebeau’s wonderful Annual Review on his blog, The Art of Non-Conformity. Chris’s system is exceptionally detailed, more so than I really need, but the gist is there. It’s a great system for those of us who are self-employed and want to do an assessment of our work for the year. Here’s the link to the actual post. Go on over there and take a read. I’ll wait. 

And if you're interested, here are the links to my previous annual reviews for 2009 (Too Damn Much), 2010 (Evolution), 2011 (Depth), 2012 (Simplicity), 2013 (Pencil), 2014 (Making Do), 2015 (No), 2016, (Lent), 2017 (Flow), and 2018 (Joy).

Fifteen Years Ago...

Fifteen years ago today, I wrote this. It was my first ever blog entry.

Anytime I've had a major setback in my life, I've been told to think of it as the first day of the rest of my life. Barf. Why can't I just mope and then be done with it? Why do I have to be cheery and happy, keep a brave face on and pretend that nothing has happened?

I received word of my first major rejection on The Spirits Within* yesterday. There have been others, and there will be more, but this was a major publisher. And they really liked the book. Loved the characters, thought they were finely drawn. Liked the plot. Liked the voice. Thought the writing was solid. And yet it was missing that certain je ne sais quoi that the NY publishers want to make them a million bucks.

So how do you rewrite a novel that one of the best editors in New York really liked?

*It took another two years to get a deal, and it was for another book. The Spirits Within was eventually published, in 2016, under the name FIELD OF GRAVES.

Never give up, friends. Never give up.

2018 Annual Review

Hello, and welcome to my annual review!

I experienced a huge amount of resistance to putting together the annual review this year. Not the numbers—with my spreadsheets, that is actually the easy part. No, there was just so much that happened this year, so many things — good and bad, happy and sad — that I just felt overwhelmed at the prospect of revisiting the many emotions I experienced as the year progressed. 

It was a stressful year, to say the least. From staffing changes to deals falling through, from altered deadlines, shifting pub dates, way too much travel, and a secret project to launch which came with a monstrous learning curve, it felt hectic from start to finish. And hectic isn’t a good place for me.  Especially when, looking at the planning calendar, I *knew* the year was going to be busy. Sometimes knowing is worse, because the anticipation gets you every time. If I had a dollar for the number of times I said “just get through this month, and it will all calm down...”

A friend (rather bravely, considering) told me she was concerned I was overdoing it, that I was pushing too hard, and was in danger of having it all collapse around my ears. It brought me up short, and was possibly the most important conversation I had all year. When I took a step back and thought things through, I realized she was right, something had to give. I was driving myself to stress and distraction by trying to do it all. 

But get through it all, I did. I’ll even admit I’m kind of proud of myself for making it all happen.  And interestingly, as I was putting my review together, I realized that for every negative, I found myself writing “X happened, but it caused Y,” and almost universally, Y was a positive that outweighed the negative. Once I finally dug in, the year looked pretty dang rosy.

2018 was supposed to be the Year of Change — and boy, how, did it live up to its title. 

LOOKING BACK ON 2018 - THE YEAR OF CHANGE

It’s time to apply all the changes I’ve made over the past several years into a single, overarching habit that encompasses my work, my current life, and my future work. Putting my own needs first will allow me to grow both as a writer and as a person. Being selfish with my time, only applying my energy to work I love and believe in, will help me reconnect with my creativity in new and exciting ways. I vow to try new things, to read new to me authors, to regularly unplug and decompress, and enjoy life without pushing so hard all the time. Most importantly, I will set work hours, and step away from the screen when the day is done. “Mischief Managed” will be my new end of workday mantra, giving me permission to shut down until the next day.  A shutdown ritual coupled with an 8-week modular work plan will lend structure and cohesiveness to my days, and drop my stress levels exponentially.

HOW DID I DO?

Well...I can honestly say that I did achieve 50% of what I was looking for when I set my 2018 goal of change. The first half of the paragraph above, especially.  I made several major changes to my writing habits, and I’ve done an excellent job putting my needs first. One of the greatest lessons we can all learn is how to let go of anything that doesn’t serve us in a positive way, be that work, people, habits (or the lack thereof). This year, I said no to things I truly didn’t want to do, and felt a new sense of freedom. 

Did my stress level drop because I planned everything so perfectly? Ha! Not a chance. At one point in the year, I was actually so stressed my doctor put me on a heart monitor. It was situational, happily, and once the stressor was removed, everything went back to normal. But recognizing I wasn’t managing my stress well, I started taking CBD oil, which has gone a long way toward helping me keep everything under control. I’m sleeping better, deeper, and waking more refreshed, which helps. I’m feeling much more capable of handling the day, and that’s been a lifesaver. I’d much rather take something natural instead of Ativan! 

By the last quarter of the year, when everything hit a fever pitch, I just kept getting up and tackling the day, over and over, and then, suddenly... it was all over. All the books were published, all the travel was finished, all the deadlines were met. I had room to breath, and the clarity with which to see the future again. I started thinking about 2019, and beyond, what I wanted from my career, from myself. I even went so far as to write a mission statement, my Jerry Maguire moment, to help clarify everything I was thinking about, where I want to go from here. It felt good. It makes sense. It’s achievable. 

Now that, my friends, is change personified.  

WHAT WENT RIGHT?

So many things! Honestly, as wild as all this sounds, many, many more good things happened than bad. A lot of them I can’t talk about publicly, but believe me when I say 2018 was a very good year.

TEAR ME APART’s reception in the world was beyond heartwarming. It was such a difficult book to write, and the notes I’ve received about it broke my heart and put it back together again. 

A THOUSAND DOORS was a wonder. From start to finish, it was an exhilarating process. Working with the amazing authors, watching the story come together, seeing it resonate with readers, learning how to publish the damn thing… it was a labor of love and I’m very proud of it. Plus, many new friendships sprang from its loins. What more can you ask from a project?

Something very important happened in 2018 — for the first time in many years, I developed and started writing an entirely new concept instead of digging into my archives for a story thread. That book, GOOD GIRLS LIE, is well underway and due to my publisher early 2019. And with that clarity came yet another idea, for the next book, which also hasn’t happened in a very long time. I am finding the flow again, and that is a very good thing. I also adapted a short story idea in progress to be the epilogue for GOOD GIRLS LIE — in that weird way of the subconscious, I couldn’t make the short story deadline, but the story must have been germinating anyway.

After finishing THE LAST SECOND, the 6th Brit in the FBI book, I immediately pivoted to a trip to England, the launch of TEAR ME APART, a brief tour, and then right into the launch of A THOUSAND DOORS, all without drawing a breath. These weeks away from writing torpedoed a lot of my good habits, so I decided to do a 4th quarter booster shot. 

I re-read (listened to) Stephen King’s ON WRITING and Twyla Tharp’ s THE CREATIVE HABIT, and both books really lit a fire under me in terms of my own creativity and writing habits. Not to do more, necessarily, but to do it smarter, and for the right reasons. I’ve been making tweaks to my writing day all year, but now I’m getting my words done in the morning, leaving me the rest of the day for exercise, reading, cooking, planning, and more writing. 

Even more importantly, I rebuilt my office from scratch to be a calming, Zen-like space that allows me to do all my creative work in one place. When I leave my office, I leave the work. When I step in, the creative juices flow immediately. (Plus, the cats LOVE the new rugs and chair.) Since I’m entering a new chapter in my life, having a new desk, a new office, is probably the most symbolic and constructive act I’ve done in years. 

And I read 100 books. 100! (I don’t count abandoned titles in this, of which there were at least 20, nor my own books, all of which get read a gazillion times each.) Last year I read 72. Adding audiobooks to my repertoire has seriously increased my reading time, something I was really hoping for.

Catherine and I (avec husbands) went to London and saw The Cursed Child, and then Randy and I went on to Cambridge and Oxford. So much fun, and so inspiring. I used a lot of the Oxford trip as the backbone for GOOD GIRLS LIE, too!

I published three books, wrote half of another, traveled all over the country and did two international trips. There were starred reviews, thoughtful emails, and great friendships made and deepened. We started a private facebook group called the Literati which is a wonderful, warm, funny place to spend time with like-minded readers. Instagram turned out to be a happy surprise filled with lovely bookstagrammers and yogis to follow, and I found a haven on Twitter of fun authors to hang out with, both online and in person. I learned how to do actual accounting, fulfillment, and billing (don’t laugh, MATH) and once the accounts receivable are set, the publishing house is actually in the black for the year, a massive accomplishment.

With my assistant Leigh at the helm, I am very happy with the way we’re approaching social media now, too. After some fits and starts with the Tao reboot, I’ve found a healthy balance with the Sunday Smatterings posts, regular check-ins on Facebook and Twitter, and a lot of fun, positive energy going into Instagram. We’ve abandoned schedules and are focused on enjoying the relationships we’ve built this year, especially on the Literati and Instagram, and of course, the newsletter continues to be my favorite way to communicate. If I have something I want to blog about, I do. If I don’t, I don’t. This takes off so much pressure, you can’t even imagine.

And of course, a major new secret project is well underway. Trust me when I say, it’s going to be astoundingly cool and a big, big surprise. 

My biggest takeaway: In learning how to let things go that don’t serve me, I found myself again.

WHAT WENT WRONG?

At one point in the year, it felt like anything that could go wrong, did... but it righted itself in the third quarter, leading to a fun fourth quarter. I didn’t hit my original word goal, revising it down by 50k... but I indie published a unique anthology to major critical acclaim. I had a mini-meltdown in September and decided to take the last 4 months of the year off... but quickly realized time off wasn’t the issue, it was what I was spending my time on that was the problem. My assistant quit... but I found a wonderful new one rather quickly, and the transition was practically seamless. A major deal fell through... but another presented itself the same week. I didn’t play nearly enough golf, nor did I take nearly enough time off... but I got to travel to England for research and Aruba for fun. I was stressed out of my mind for a while... but I found a great, natural solution. I was laid low by a major bout with the flu, and another round soon after of asthmatic bronchitis... but the time spent in fevered delirium absolutely made TEAR ME APART come together, and I kept off almost all the weight I lost. I did lose my yoga practice, and there’s no real but for balance... but I plan to fix this ASAP. Oddly, I haven’t heard my good luck song since 2017... but I hope this changes, too, and soon!

All in all, it was definitely a when a door closes, a window opens kind of year. 

Living a creative life — making a living from a creative life, I should say — is hard, but isn’t exactly digging ditches. Having this much work, this many expectations, is a major blessing, one I don’t take for granted.  

NERDOLOGY — THE NITTY GRITTY

2018 Word Total: 835,959
Fiction Total: 200,430
Non-Fiction Total: 105,529
Email: 530,000
Fiction Percentage: 24%
Books Read:  100 (of a revised up goal of 80)

2017 Fiction Total: 274,410 (Fiction 30%)
2016 Fiction Total: 217,228 (Fiction 25%)
2015 Fiction Total: 203,749 (Fiction 28%)
2014 Fiction Total: 291,114 (Fiction 36%)
2013 Fiction Total: 270,000 (Fiction 34%)
2012 Fiction Total: 265,000 (Fiction 34%)
2011 Fiction Total: 252,300 (Fiction 35%)
2010 Fiction Total: 198,383 (Fiction 32%)
2009 Fiction Total: 135,738 (Fiction 27%)

I wrote fewer fiction words due to the time I spent publishing A THOUSAND DOORS, and barely squeaked past my (revised down) 200,000 goal this year, mostly because I arrived at my parents for Christmas and promptly collapsed into a puddle of goo and didn’t get off the couch to do anything but walk or golf for a week. It was glorious, and well worth not blowing away my goal. Honestly, I’m pretty sure I did surpass 200k handily, but I only count each project’s finished words, not all words written, in my dailies. Still, 200,000 is nothing to sneeze at. It’s one of my lowest counts in years, but I am completely at peace about it. I’ve become much more interested in producing a specific kind of work, and if that means it takes me longer and I write less overall, so be it.

Here are some specifics on the year — and yes, the numbers aren’t wrong, there were 15 releases this year (not including any down price sales or contests). No wonder things felt so frantic!

Original Books Published: 3 

TEAR ME APART, THE SIXTH DAY, A THOUSAND DOORS
All three novels were critically acclaimed, and THE SIXTH DAY hit all the major bestseller lists. Hurrah! 

Reprint/Repackage: 7

The Sixth Day trade paperback
Samantha Owens Series digital repack
Suspense on the Edge of Romance Collection (ALL THE PRETTY GIRLS)
Dark and Twisted Reads (ALL THE PRETTY GIRLS)

Two Tales Press: 7

A THOUSAND DOORS, NO ONE KNOWS German edition, NO ONE KNOWS UK edition, DEAD ENDS audiobook, STORIES OF THE NIGHT audiobook, CATWOOD

Conferences/Festivals/Bookstores: 10 

Bouchercon, SIBA, Murder by the Book, Parnassus, Chapel Hill Library, Charlotte Bibliofeast, Writerfest Nashville, Southwest Florida Reading Festival, Southern Festival of Books

Major Projects Worked On: 5

TEAR ME APART, A THOUSAND DOORS (both edits and 4 original short stories within), THE LAST SECOND (Brit in the FBI #6), SECRET PROJECT, GOOD GIRLS LIE

A WORD ON WORDS Shows Taped: 6

Books read: 100

More Awesome Stuff:

EMMY nomination for A WORD ON WORDS Season 3
PW Starred Review: TEAR ME APART
PW Starred Review: A THOUSAND DOORS
NYT List: THE SIXTH DAY
USA Today List: THE SIXTH DAY, LIE TO ME
TEAR ME APART made several major best of 2018 lists
Shhhh.....(sorry, but soon!)

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2019 - The Year of Joy

After all the changes of 2018, I’m so looking forward to 2019. I go forth into the new year with joy in my heart, not the pervasive dread of “how am I going to do it all?” I usually feel at this time of year. I’m not worrying as much about what I’m going to accomplish, instead I’m focused on being present, enjoying my work, my family and friends, and my life. Being happy. Contentment and creativity are the primary goals. A big birthday is looming, and I plan to enjoy every minute of the transition into another decade, approaching this new stage of my life with gratitude instead of fear. 

If you’ve read my previous years’ annual reviews, you’ll see a trend. Accomplish goals, accomplish goals, accomplish goals. This is laudable, absolutely. But it’s also becoming counterproductive to my creativity. And I really, really need to scale back.

I want to start separating out my goals into two categories — what I can accomplish, and what I’d like to see happen. Need vs. Desire. It feels counterproductive to have goals on my list that are out of my control (options exercised, bestseller lists made, etc.) I can control how many words I write, and I can control how many books I read. I can control whether I walk on the treadmill and get on my yoga mat. I can control what I put in my body. Controlling the things I can control goes a long way toward creating joy.

To this end, I bought myself a gorgeous new notebook (William Hannah) and I’m very excited to incorporate some more specific calendar work with my to do lists, and notes. I’ve been tossing over this notebook concept for three years, so I figured, why not? My favorite Quo Vadis Habanas have gone exclusively to ivory paper, and I prefer the brighter, whiter paper that the William Hannah provides. Plus, I like the actual calendars, with pretty dates and perfectly drawn boxes — I am not an artist in this way; my BuJo is functional but rarely elegant. This new notebook has a monthly calendar, a weekly calendar, monthly planning, weekly planning, and plenty of room for to do lists, meeting notes, brainstorming, anything I want, because it’s scalable and customizable. All in one, and one for all. Pretty cool.

2019 is also the year I refocus my mental energy on my fiction. Everything is humming along nicely in the non-fiction realm, so there’s nothing more that needs to be changed there. I want to focus my energies on writing books that connect with readers, and feeling that elusive moment of creative satisfaction I’ve achieved a few times in my career.

I’m starting the year with a Dry January, mostly because I want to change my to sleep and to rise times, and my nightly glass of wine makes it harder to get up in the morning (hello, middle age). I’m excited about initializing some new habits, and refreshing my Italian skills for a trip later this year. 

As of now, there will be seven book releases in 2019 — two original titles, four backlist releases, and one audiobook. I don’t know about repacks and the like, but seven is a much more manageable number than 15.

March 26 - THE LAST SECOND Brit in the FBI #6 HC
March 26 - THE SIXTH DAY (Brit in the FBI #5) mmpb
April 9 - A THOUSAND DOORS Audio
April 23 - LIE TO ME mmpb
September 3 - GOOD GIRLS LIE HC
September 23 - NO ONE KNOWS mmpb
November 12 - THE LAST SECOND (Brit in the FBI #6) TP

I plan to finish GOOD GIRLS LIE and write another full-length novel, with a writing goal of 200,000 words. I don’t have any short stories on the horizon, but if one presents itself, I will certainly tap into the zeitgeist and make it happen.

I’ve also mentioned that I’m working on a massive secret project — because what fun would life be without secret projects?  I will share details as soon as I’m able. It is incredibly fun, and I am very excited about it. 

I’m scheduled to attend both Thrillerfest and Bouchercon. Because of my deadline, I sadly had to pull out of a January conference, but I’m hopeful to make it in 2020. I have Southern Voices ahead, and a few other trips planned. Nothing crazy, but fun stuff that I’m really looking forward to, including one major research trip.

And speaking of deadlines... I’d like to work on revamping my writing year, too. My perfect year (assuming two books a year) sees me starting a new book in January, finishing in May, starting another new book in July, finishing in early December. That gives me May and December off (it takes me a solid month to get one book out of my head and another into it) and gives me plenty of space to attend conferences and tour. 

And speaking of conferences... The relationships we build in this industry are so vital, and spending quality time with writer friends is on the top of my list this year. I’d like to do at least two writing retreats, and take advantage of the opportunities I’m offered.  

I’m very excited to be a part of the Brenda Novak Book Club this year, too — GOOD GIRLS LIE is their October selection.

I’m setting a reading goal of 80 books. I will admit, toward the end of the year, I was feeling a bit frantic trying to hit that elusive 100 book goal, and that’s silly. Reading is for pleasure, and goals like this really don’t mean anything outside of a commitment to spending time with books, and THAT is what’s important, not the number of books read. 80 is a comfortable pace for me. This way, if I exceed it, I’ll be pleased instead of revising up, like I did this year.

As for the rest, there are a number of personal goals that are directly related to how I structure my day. After all these years of goal setting, I’ve learned that while a habit is a good thing for me, trying to schedule myself too specifically backfires. I’d like my day to see 1000 words written, an hour of exercise, and at least a few pages of a book read. The *perfect* work day has those 1000 words written by noon, the exercise done by 2, and the reading done both before and after dinner, but since this is the Year of Joy, not the Year of Striving, I’ll settle for getting writing, exercise, and reading into my day. Also, working in my office, not drifting from room to room, will allow me to shut off when I need to.

Good plans, all. We’ll see how I do.

Thank you, as always, for joining me on this journey. I hope you find these reviews as helpful as I do. What you see is often the tip of the iceberg, and this year is no different, but my planning is just beginning, and I’m trying to go with the flow a bit more rather than scheduling myself down to the last moment of every day. Wish me luck, and I wish the same for you — along with health, happiness, and tons of good books!

THE DEETS
May 7

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For the past several years, I’ve been doing annual reviews of my life and work, based on the format from Chris Guillebeau’s wonderful Annual Review on his blog, The Art of Non-Conformity. Chris’s system is exceptionally detailed, more so than I really need, but the gist is there. It’s a great system for those of us who are self-employed and want to do an assessment of our work for the year. Here’s the link to the actual post. Go on over there and take a read. I’ll wait. 

And if you're interested, here are the links to my previous annual reviews for 2009 (Too Damn Much), 2010 (Evolution), 2011 (Depth), 2012 (Simplicity), 2013 (Pencil), 2014 (Making Do), 2015 No), 2016, (Lent), and 2017 (Flow).

WHEN SHADOWS FALL has a new cover!

Welcome to the bright and shiny new digital edition of WHEN SHADOWS FALL! My publishers are repackaging the series in fabulous new covers, and I’m so excited to share them with you. For your enjoyment, here’s a peek inside the origins of the novel!

__________

I’m not sure exactly how it happened, but my eleventh novel will be born into the world soon. WHEN SHADOWS FALL is the third Saman­tha Owens novel, a sem­i­nal book in the series, as it decides the course of action for the next several books.

Every series has a path, planned or unplanned. When I started writ­ing my Tay­lor Jack­son series, I had no idea it was going to be a series. I hadn’t thought about extended story, struc­ture, char­ac­ter devel­op­ment. I cre­ated a finite char­ac­ter in a finite world, and it was dif­fi­cult to see where to take the books.

With Sam, it was the oppo­site. I knew I wanted a char­ac­ter who could grow and change remark­ably. I knew I wanted to allow her the free­dom to move around the coun­try, the world, with rel­a­tive ease. As my then-edi­tor and I were plan­ning the first book in the series, I men­tioned I wanted Sam to be the Indi­ana Jones of foren­sic pathol­ogy. The idea stuck.

What hap­pens in this book wasn’t sup­posed to hap­pen until book 4 in the series. It’s funny, the same thing hap­pened to me in the Tay­lor series. The third book, JUDAS KISS, was sup­posed to be the fourth. I made men­tion of my idea for it, hop­ing to entice my edi­tor to buy the book when I was fin­ished with the third I had planned. Instead, she jumped on the idea and told me in no uncer­tain terms this was the ONE.

So when I found myself in the same posi­tion this time, I knew what I needed to do. Aban­don the story and move the next book into its place. I couldn’t let Sam lan­guish in her sor­row any longer. It was time for her to move on. To start anew. Insert res­ur­rec­tion clauses here.

Of course, Sam wasn’t aware of the change her life was about to take. She wasn’t par­tic­u­larly ready to move on, not really. And I had to tell her, Too bad, sis­ter. I’ll let you have some onscreen sex to make up for it.

I think its one of the most part of the fun being a writer, this game you play with your char­ac­ters. I once asked a very famous writer about how char­ac­ters some­times do their own thing, and he looked at me like I was a recent escapee from an insane asy­lum and declared his char­ac­ters would never do such a thing because they only did what he told them to do.

I find that so sad. I like that my char­ac­ters and I have this sort of push and pull rela­tion­ship. They give me some of what I want, I give them some of what they want. In the end, we’re all happy and mov­ing on to the next adven­ture. At least, that’s the plan. After wrestling alli­ga­tors with them for 500 pages, they damn well bet­ter be ready to move on. Cause if they’re not, they often end up dead. Or maimed. Or mar­ried off, or on the run.

Poor char­ac­ters. Poor, poor char­ac­ters. Bet­ter behave, or I’ll make your life hell.

But Sam behaved, and she was rewarded with many excit­ing things, all of which set up the rest of the series. I’m not one-hundred per­cent sure where we go from here, but I love that book three has become this sem­i­nal turn­ing point for the Sam. And as such, for Xan­der and Fletcher too. The whole cast is being thrust into a new world because I got impa­tient. I hope they con­tinue to behave!

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