12.11.13

Over the weekend, we watched a special on Bloomberg about Jeff Bezos and Amazon. It was fascinating, and I had an interesting takeaway that relates rather directly to my current worldview. 

I'm a numbers girl. I track my daily word counts, (1460 today, by the way) set monthly and yearly goals. At the end of each year, I do a performance review on myself -- looking at the year in review, the year to come, and do some goal setting. I set a rather audacious goal of 300,000 fiction words this year, and I might just make it. 

Three years go, on my 2010 annual review, I put together a five year plan. I've hit every goal on that list, save one, which is underway and will be remedied in the new year.  

That's pretty heady stuff, right? Hitting goals, hitting marks. There's only one problem. Once you hit a goal, there's always another. And another. Gotta do better. Gotta sell stronger. Gotta get higher on the list. Gotta, gotta, gotta.

I've been putting quite a bit of pressure on myself lately - looking at the numbers, drilling down into the nitty gritty of my psyche, really pushing myself harder and harder. And for what? I hit all the goals. And I'm not sure I know what my new ones are yet. So instead of figuring them out, I've been micromanaging EVERYTHING, holding on so tightly I'm surprised some things haven't cracked.

Which brings me back to Bezos. They were interviewing one of Amazon's first 5 employees, the guy who was hired to write book reviews in the very beginning. He was, of course, a major stockholder. And Amazon's stock had a pretty phenomenal run before the collapse of 2008, when it went down to $5 a share. (It closed today down $5, as a matter of fact. To $382)

But when the stock was hovering at the $5 mark, and everyone had lost their shorts, Bezos shook his head and said, (and I paraphrase here)

Don't worry about it. Don't look at the stock price. Worry about what we're doing and where we're headed. Focus on doing the job well. The rest will take care of itself.

I made Randy play that back, because it really struck a chord. 

It's not that I'm worrying about my stock price. But I am worrying about sales. Every author on the planet worries about sales. And now that we have so many places to see our sales figures, or at least extrapolate how well we're doing (hello, irony, AKA Amazon rankings) it's hard to avoid. I mean, our sales determine how we live our lives. Sales feed the cats, the kids, and the monthly nut. They are hard as hell NOT to look at. 

Randy said something very interesting then. "You have to manage to the goal, not the number."

Hear the ringing bells? 

I am a storyteller. It's what I do. It's my job, yes, but it's also my passion, a fifth limb, a true extension of my entire being. Whether the sales are there or no, I'm going to continue being a storyteller. And I'm going to try managing to my goal, instead of to my numbers. I'll continue daily word counts, of course, but I'm going to step back a bit on worrying the business end of things. I have a great team in place, a great book coming out February 25 -- I think it's great, I hope you do too -- and another one due right around that time.  As soon as I finish this one, I'm on to Sam #4. All I really have control over is my product. And that's where I should be focusing my energy. Right?

Macro, not micro. Which is going to make this year's annual review and goal setting very interesting.

Sweet dreams!

11.12.13

An auspicious date on the calendar, and a decent writing day for me. I had to flip my day, do business in the morning and write this afternoon, so I'm not done, ergo, no word count just yet. But I wanted to direct you to this blog by Kris Rush on NaNoWriMo. She makes a lot of excellent points about the month-long novel extravaganza.

Professional writers view NaNo with a healthy dose of skepticism. Mainly because we do this every month, so there's this rather snobbish view toward a bunch of writers suddenly dedicated themselves to the craft for a single month and calling themselves authors. I don't buy into that crap, by the way. Yes, I do write at least 25K a month, more like 40-50K, but that doesn't make me more of a writer than the NaNo folk. It just means I've been blessed enough to do this full time. Sometimes, established authors forget how things were in the beginning.

Also, there are a wad of submissions that go out on December 1. Yes, there have been books written during NaNo that get published - 14 was my first, I can testify that it does happen. But more often than not, they don't, for several reasons:

1. 50,000 words does not a novel make. (I made this mistake, remember, before I knew anything about the industry, so don't think I'm picking on you.) Most commercial novels are between 70-100,000 words, and at least 400-500 manuscript pages in 12 point font. So by "winning" NaNo, you've only laid down half to three-quarters of what you need to be on par with the rest of the industry.

2. Writing is only half of the game. REVISING is where the real writing is done. Shooting off a manic manuscript that you haven't taken several weeks to edit, edit, edit some more, get reads from friends, revise again, is foolhardy. You only get one chance to make a first impression.

3. A million submissions on December 1 overload the agents, their readers, and their assistants, so a lot of good work can fall through the cracks.

4. We now have the very simple, expediant method to get our work into the hands of readers, self-pubbing. Please, don't do it right away. Give yourself the time to revise and get some good solid editing from a great editor before you put your masterpiece up for sale.

So. With all that in mind, when you finish, and accept your congratulations and adulations, take a day, celebrate, then get your butt back in the chair and make a real novel out of your story.

Sweet dreams!

10.16.13

Six days in, and I had to take the morning off. I read, I thought. Enjoyed some quiet me time whilst poor DH dealt with getting the  new lights on the car. Sadly, it needs a brake job, so we will be spending the last few days of the trip in a new car. The i800 has done right by us for the most part; I'm slightly sorry to see him go. 

Loch Ness today. It was blustery and cloudy, perfect for a mysterious sail. We broke out the new camera, took some lovely shots (Guess what?  The new DSLR cameras are rather easy to manage. I didn't need any lessons!) bought tons of goodies at the gift shop, then took the family to the ancestral home, Tulloch Castle. The McBeans married it out to the Davidsons after the second Jacobite uprising, so it's more Davidson oriented, of course, but we were able to see much more than last time. Namely because I was prepared. Because Tulloch, you see, is very haunted.

Last time, we saw ghosts in the windows and heard the walls screaming. Today there was only a strange sense of things, and one minor sighting--we were walking through the lobby, and I saw a man sitting by the fire. When I glanced back at him, there was no one there. Soooooooooo....... But we ate a yummy bangers and mash and steak and ale pie dinner in the Green Lady bar, and on our way home, I had one of those awesome blinding light epiphanies about the new book. So I'm off to write. Cheers!

On Fear, And The Need For Reckless Abandon

I recently received an email from a fellow scribe that hurt me to read. She wisely suggested I answer her in a blog post, because she is not alone in this. Here's her note, printed with her permission:

I am a fiction writer and I'm having a confidence problem. And I was recently telling my beloved mentor that my confidence is still shot from my creative writing classes in college! Harsh criticism from my peers, a professor who was more concerned with the publication of his own work rather than molding young minds, etc. (And I should note that I'm now in my mid-30s.) I write, because it is what my heart demands, but when it comes to showing people my work or talking about it - I'm terrified. Given that I've started devoting a lot of time to my creative life (I'm in a WONDERFUL writer's group, I've attended some classes on the craft, I try to write daily, and I read voraciously), my confidence problem is verging on ridiculous. Do you have any suggestions? I am proposing a blog post, because I have a feeling that I'm not the only person who has/is going through this.

And my response:

Hey, we all get scared. Getting your work out there, running the risk of rejection, is hard. But think about it this way. What's the worst that could happen? Someone says no. Just a little word. They won't attack you, or physically beat you up, or laugh at you to all your friends, or theirs. Honestly, we all get rejected. It's part of the writing life. You can't let fear dictate your life. 

Two books for you to read: The War of Art, by Steven Pressfield, and Julia Cameron's The Artist's Way.

And go read my post on Rejection on my website.

You must live your life with reckless abandon. It's too short to allow fear to stop you from pursuing your dreams.

But the more I thought about it, I see how very easy it is for me to say hey, it's all cool, you just keep plugging away and screw up your courage and submit, and to hell with the consequences. That's not fair of me. I didn't feel like that when I started out, either.

As it happens, I'm one of those people who can let fear of rejection and criticism slide off my shoulders.  

Now. 

I didn't used to be this way. I too was in a hypercritical writing program that sapped all the energy and life out of my writing. So much so that I didn't write a single word of fiction for eight years. Do you have any idea how many invisible kicks I've given myself over that lost time? I didn't start writing again seriously until I was in my early 30s. My first novel was published when I was 37. If I'd gotten started back when I was 21, I'd have had a drawer full of manuscripts. Some might even have gotten picked up. 

Eight years of being afraid. Eight years believing I wasn't good enough.  

Don't make this mistake. Take chances. Jump off cliffs. The very worst thing that can happen is someone says no. Don't get yourself stuck into the vein I was in, afraid to even try.  

Find yourself a good group of writing partners who you trust to tell you the truth. Listen when they tell you there's a plot hole, or something doesn't work for them. Then fix it, trust your gut, and send that puppy out into the world.

Yes, you might get rejected. But you also might get picked up!  You'll never know until you try. If you're still scared, my advice from above stands. Read THE WAR OF ART. Do Julie Cameron's THE WRITER'S WAY. Both books will show you the truth behind your art - that it is glorious, and with purpose, and your fear can and should be conquered. 

I used Cameron's book two years ago, when I was stuck in a massive writing rut. It was a life-changing experience. Same with the day I read THE WAR OF ART. It all just made so much sense. I was the one holding myself back.  Me. My fear. My lack of confidence. My unrealistic concerns and expectations.

So I fixed that. 

I still get scared. Of course I do. But my desire to share my stories supersedes the worry.  So I get on with it, day after day, year after year. I pile up those words and fling them out into the world, and hope y'all like them.

And so should you. Good luck! 

On Staying the Course

I have a piece on career longevity over at the ITW Debut Author Blog. I find it interesting that there are hundreds, if not thousands, of blogs and courses and conferences dedicated to helping new writers break in, learn to write, all that, but so few focused on helping the career writer maintain and grow their livelihood. 

Kris Rusch (THE BUSINESS RUSCH) does a great job of this, and while I don't agree with everything she says, she's at least talking to those of us who are building a writing career.

So, here's my  two cents on the matter. I'd love to hear if there are other blogs and sites dedicated to the writing career, and if you have tips for great ways to stay in the game, leave a comment. 

____

Only six years ago, I was a debut author. I remember the joy, the excitement, the sheer, unadulterated fear like it was yesterday. Now, with 13 books under my belt, I recognize how important it is to treasure the journey. Every moment of your writing career is precious – the good, and the bad. It’s what makes us better people, and stronger, happier, more capable writers.

You must treasure the journey to keep yourself on course to a long successful writing career.

Trust me, I know how easy it is to stray. I had it good way back when – I wrote in a vacuum, with only my own voice to derail me. Now there are so many negative, distracting voices clamoring for our attention -- Facebook, with its siren’s call. Goodreads and Amazon, where you can read your reviews and self-congratulate or self-flagellate at will. Twitter, where you can compare your number of followers and retweets and pithy witticisms with the masses. Blogs are a dime a dozen, and Instagram and Pinterest are a massive time suck.

And then there’s the doubly whammy of family and friends who can, with a well-placed, well-meaning word, create train wrecks of such magnificent proportion they’re hard to walk away from.

It’s all sound and fury signifying nothing. As such, you must find a way to retreat from the distractions, and chart your own course, so you can churn out books like kittens.

The Internet is your number one enemy. Whether you use apps to keep you away (Freedom, Self-Control) or you have the discipline of a general, you have to stay off the Internet. You have to live your life. See and feel and touch and taste. You must hear dialogue, not read it. You must experience all the world can offer – even if it’s taking a break to walk outside. Live, and your prose will be richer, your spirit more content. The only true satisfaction in the writer’s life in knowing it’s well lived.

Learn how to say no. No is your best friend. It is so tempting to agree to everything – guest blogging and touring and conferences and teaching engagements. They stroke the ego, and make us feel important and strong. And some of that is fine. Learn what fills your well socially, and stick to it. Half of us are introverts and half are extroverts. If going to a conference drains you, don’t do it. If it fires you up and you come home raring to tackle that manuscript, do. It’s that simple.

Lastly, respect your work. Respect your time. Get in a habit – find the best time for you to write and just do it already. You’ve already written one book. I know it can be scary tackling another.

But here’s a little secret: every book feels that way, whether it’s your 2nd or your 14th.  It gets worse, not better. All you can do is march those words onto the blank page, one by one, soldiers in your on-going war against writing entropy. Do that, every day, and believe in your work wholeheartedly, and I promise, success will follow.